The Death of My Sister
by Acedia's Apathetic Simplicity
Summary: Kagome has committed suicide all that is left of her is a diary and a camera recording her last thoughts and death. Souta comes to the feudal era to finish what her left behind. Only this times he is way prepared than what the Inu gang was expecting, he
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

**Summary: Kagome has committed suicide all that is left of her is a diary and a camera recording her last thoughts and death. Souta comes to the feudal era to finish what her left behind. Only this times he is way prepared than what the Inu gang was expecting, he not the same little naïve young boy the Inuyasha once knew, he is also more than little bitter—more like slightly emotionally depraved.**

**Prologue**

He stared at the empty room that his sister once inhabited, he would complete her last wish if it was the last he do; the room was the same up until the time of her premature death. _Kagome_. Souta never truly understood why she did the things she did, it wasn't until six months after her death did he work up enough courage to read it. He stood then what he had to do. Now here he stood five years later, in her room: no longer was he confused, no longer did he mourn for her as he once did, no longer would her come back here and wonder, and no longer would he blame himself; after all it wasn't his fault. As walked out of that room for the last time he asked himself 'did anyone really miss her?'.


	2. Kai

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

"Are you sure about this Inuyasha?" Miroku took a glance back at the hanyou with uncertainty; then turned back at the Bone Eaters Well that Lady Kagome once used go through.

"She has the jewel shards, Miroku."

"Inuyasha," Sango began, "I don't think—"

"I didn't ask on what you thought," Inuyasha spat.

It had become difficult after the young miko had disappeared, or more like never returned; it had started off like every other argument the two ever had, but Sango had sensed something was off about her, she had been having those feelings for the past couple of months. She had passed it off thinking that it was just the nerves of constant surprise attacks that Naraku had been giving as of late. Inuyasha called her a few awful names here and there and Kagome had responded back with a few of her own ending it with the subjugation beads, marching off in a huff to her home while muttering something about stubborn dogs. Her tantrums usually lasted for about three to five days, then she'd return and apologize to the hanyou for something she didn't have to and everything would return back to normal. Except this time she didn't return in the due time. Sango just figured that she a lot angrier than she let on. After about a month had passed Inuyasha had finally got annoyed and jumped into the well, only to return fuming exclaiming, "The bitch sealed the well!"

"Miroku," Inuyasha looked at the well not Miroku, "do it."

A couple of days ago the undead miko came announcing that there was a way to remove the seal.

"_There are only two ways that I know of that could remove such seal that my reincarnation used," she began. Surprisingly enough Inuyasha had not said anything besides looking intently at Kikyou. No one made comment about the reincarnation part either._

"_One way is for the sealer to unseal it herself, but doubt she will be doing anything of the sort considering how long it has been sealed." Everyone silently agreed with her. _

"_The other is for a powerful monk such as Miroku can unseal it. It is a difficult process but it can be done. Only certain monks are taught how to do it, but I am certain that the monk here knows of how to go about it."_

"_You are correct," Miroku calmly stated._

_Kikyou soon left after that, leaving only a glaring hanyou. The glare was directed to the silent monk._

"_While the hell didn't you unseal the damn well," he snarled after two whole minutes had passed._

"_Lady Kagome deserves her privacy Inuyasha, not someone barging in and dragging her back to place she obviously does not want to be in at the moment… She will return in due time." He whispered the last part so softly that if it weren't for there well trained ears they would not have heard it._

"_FIVE FUCKING YEARS! Don't you think that she has had enough 'privacy'!" _

_The hanyou stood up abruptly, "you're unsealing that well as soon you have the requirements necessary to unseal that well."_

_He left no room for argument._

Miroku situated himself in front of that well arms spread wide.

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha growled out breaking the concentration of the monk.

**A Few Hours Earlier**

Sesshomaru's small pack had come to a halt by rather large meadow; containing a river the split the meadow in half giving it a mystical appearance. Sesshomaru placed himself under an immense tree its shadow covering half his body. The two-headed dragon, AhUn, sunbathed close to Rin, with Jaken resting against the dragon's belly. Young Rin around collecting as many flowers that could possibly fit in her small hands.

"Rin," Sesshomaru looked off to the opposite direction that Rin was standing on, "hide yourself."

"Hai."

"Lord Sesshomaru you don't have to hide your ward from me, I am no danger," a beautiful swan youkai appeared behind Rin, putting clawed hands on each of her shoulders, the swan youkai hunched on her knees holding her in a small embrace. Rin held no look of fear in her eyes; in fact she looked in peace.

"Filthy bitch remov—"

"Jaken."

"Forgive me milord."

He stared at the swan youkai holding his ward.

"I am here as messenger from Lady Fate," she sent him mysterious smile.

Lady Fate was an ancient youkai that given for her exceptional powers for prediction had been dubbed Lady Fate at a young age; many demons believed that the Kamis themselves had sent the Lady to help them through their times of need. She only foretells to demons or humans when she deems it as importance.

"I have come here to inform that you must head over to the Bone Eaters Well, heading the there will be well worth your while and the answer to the question of what became of the missing miko will be revealed. It would do well if you brought Rin along with you."

_The miko was missing?_

**Present Time**

"What the hell do you want!"

"What I want is none of your concern hanyou," his stoic face showing just a calculating gaze.

"W—"

"Inuyasha," yelled Miroku, "The well is unsealing itself." Subconsciously he backed away from the well.

A strong spiritual aura came from the well for millisecond, Sesshomaru suspected that nobody had notice it. Except Rin who was looking at the warily.

"So the wench decided to finally return," he sneered as the well emitted the familiar blue glow.

The smell of morning dew and a slight hint of sakura blossoms drifted from the well. Whoever was inside the well was not the miko but a male who either is related to the miko or spent too much with the miko. For some odd reason the last somewhat irked Sesshomaru.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak that way of my late best friend, Hanyou." Spoke a soft masculine voice.

A man dressed in strange garbs that looked related to what the miko would wear, except the out fit was not so bright in color but all black. He had a patch-like leather covered his right eye and a third of his face, thick wavy black hair touched his shoulders, the hair acting as a curtain split in the middle exposed his face. He was leaning against a tree not too close to the well.

Inuyasha spun around to face the man, "Who the hell are you?"

"Who I am is no of your concern, for now you may call me Kai." He held a face that cold rival Sesshomaru's.

"I bet you wondering why I came here instead of dear Kagome right." What was thought to be black eye was actually a dark midnight blue when he stepped into the sun, "I came here to finish what my dear friend has left behind. I'm assuming you want the Shikon shards?"

"Yeah."

"Well have news for you. I cannot allow you to have it. You don't deserve them and are weak for wanting them," he continued staring the sputtering hanyou, "you are what you are. No matter what you do, that is something Kagome would never tell you in the face because she lacked the confidence to tell you, for that is all she saw in you a pathetic hanyou that did not know his place." He walked past a shocked Inuyasha until he stood in the center facing Sesshomaru. He stared past him to the clouds in the sky.

"Why can't you give them to us instead then," Sango spoke for the first time since Kai had arrived.

"Simple," Kai continued staring onward, "One, I don't want to hand over to you and two it was Kagome's last wish."

"Last?" Miroku inquired.

"Kagome's dead." He stated, face void of emotion.

Silence filled the air; it was almost like time had stopped.

**A/N: That was something, hate to leave it there but I've got nothing. That Kai character sure sounds somewhat like an asshole doesn't he. Please review and I'll try to put my brain to work and update ASAP. Just barely found out what that meant. As soon as possible. **


	3. Smile

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. Nor do I own Still Doll that song just so happens to belong to Kanon Wakeshima.**

Silence.

He both hated and embraced the soundless tune. Today though it had felt different a new feeling altogether, a feeling of indifference. Kai would hear small soft barely there sniffles every now and then from the girl called Rin. Although three hour prior to the silence: the shouts, the crying, the weeping and the sniveling had set off a killer migraine that had finally dissipated.

**Three Hours Earlier**

"You're lying!" a woman shouted, Sango, he presumed, charged lifting that oversized boomerang on her back. A killing intent shone in her eyes but her efforts were in vain; he easily read her movements too obvious that if he had any sense of humor left in him would have laughed at her. Kai simply took a side step and watched her fall in a prostrate** (1)** pose.

Cool dark eyes landed on the kitsune, the kit was bawling his eyes out, the hanyou frozen in shock, and the monk just stood there. His eyes moved back to the slayer, who was currently at the moment sitting on her knees trying to unsuccessfully muffle her sobs.

"Momma…" the kit's breath hitched, Shippo he believed his name was, "My Momma wouldn't die," his voice croaked.

Kai's eyes narrowed, zeroing in on Shippo.

"My momma was a—"

"A what?" managing to still keep that hard look in his eyes, he arched a brow, "A miko?"

Shippo didn't answer.

"Don't be foolish. That idiotic thinking is meant for children that are actually five not one with the looks of it **(2)**," he eyes went back to Sango, he knew what she was going to say but opted to wait.

She didn't disappoint.

"You obviously didn't Kagome as much as you claim to know," she sneered, "if you did she would have told the youkai age differently, Shippo maybe a little over a century but he still has—"

"The mind complexity of five year old," he finished for her, "but he has lived long enough to know that humans are disgustingly weak, foolish, and knows not their place, just look at yourself. Hunter," the outrage in her face was almost comical. _Almost_.

The Lord Sesshomaru held no expression.

His ward, Rin, was just the same.

Kai didn't have to be a youkai to scent the innocent sorrow. Perhaps that is the reason why the Western Lord was still here; his young ward must want to know what happened to Kagome and she wouldn't be able to find peace until she knew how.

Or maybe it was just simple unsaid curiosity.

Kai turned his whole body towards Shippo, "She wasn't your mother either kit, your mother was long dead before you even met Kagome and you know it. You just can't get a grasp of reality. That you are just a little lost and abandoned kitsune in the woods," he saw the shock across everyone's faces, especially the kitsune, "it's true because I know for a fact Kitsune Youkai are so protective of their kits that it rivals that of an InuYoukai. If your pack really was gone then another pack would have already demanded you into their pack."

Noticing the tears spilling over, he smirked, "What? You don't like the truth. Would you rather live in your fantasy world? You can't face the fact that your own kind sees you as a weak and pathetic, that Kag—"

"No," Shippo shouted, tears staining his cheeks in rather revolting way, "Kagome said that she lo—"

"No she," he paused thinking twice about what he was going to say, "Perhaps at one point she did, but remember clearly that she once, she had said that she detested your very presence…She never found it fit the correct you because she had felt sorry for you, Kagome hadn't wanted to make you feel any less stupid than you already were. She was just too _nice_."

"You're lying," Shippo screamed, "Kagome—"

"What no more 'Mommas'? Have you accepted the truth so easily, one would have thought that since you we—"

"That's enough!" Sango spat out as pulled herself on to her feet.

All the meanwhile the monk remained silent; Shippo ran over the huntress, and hugged her while crying on her shoulder.

"What is wrong with you," Sango whispered angrily, her right hand running soothing circles in attempt to stop Shippo from crying.

It only worked to make him cry even harder.

The kit was really starting to grate his nerves.

"Silence!"

The kit's small frame stiffened, stopping all wailing; unfortunately being the child that he was he sniffled, his breathing hitching every two seconds.

"Cease your sniveling," looking down his nose, was a disgusting sight making him want to sneer, the kit's face was red from crying, sweat mixed with tears, "you look a mess. You're even more a pathetic sight than the hanyou. A bane in existence is what you are."

Faster than any human thought possible, Kai grabbed the kit by the skull.

"Inuyasha," Moving and flaying his arms about, Shippo called out frantically.

Kai glared at female slayer almost daring her to come and try to retrieve the kit.

She didn't.

"Let him go!"

"Why should I hanyou? The kit is just a waste of breath and space. Such an inconvience should be disposed of," he tightened his grip.

"Ahhh!" Shippo couldn't bite back the pain of having his skull compressed.

"Shall I crush it slowly?" the tightening ceased only for it to return in an agonizingly slow pace.

Shippo's tiny claws fruitlessly tried to remove the crushing appendages. Blood started to seep from where Kai's nails were putting pressure in.

"Stop it! Please let him go," an eighteen year old girl stood before him, panic evident in her eyes.

He stood staring down at Rin.

"_Promise."_

"_I promise."_

He loosened his grip, letting the kit drop to floor, but before he landed on the floor. Kai looked directly at Rin in the eye, "If this is solely what you desire."

Rin gasped, when Kai kicked Shippo like a soccer ball towards Sango effectively knocking the kit out. "A man doesn't scream for mercy even in pain," he bit out.

Kai shifted his eyes back to Rin, he saw the question her eyes, he could almost hear the question, 'why in seven hells did you do that for?'

"You told me to let him go. In order to let him go, he had _to go_ some where. I simply sent him somewhere."

**Present Time**

Rin hasn't said anything since that man had kicked Shippo. She didn't like that man, Kai, and at the same time did; he gave off a certain vibe that almost made her uncomfortable. _Almost_. She wasn't scared of him either, she knew how defend herself, her Lord didn't want her to be some weak human. She didn't know how to explain it but she somehow felt and knew that she would be safer with him around. She had had the same feeling when she first met her lord, but unlike her lord, Kai held a feeling of instability. His actions earlier proved that. Kagome's death had left her with a feeling of emptiness, she had looked up to like a big sister and if they had gotten to know each other maybe even a mother. At those times in the night when Lord Sesshomaru was not there and Master Jaken was asleep she would sit up and stare up at the stars and wonder what it would be like have a whole family again. Lord Sesshomaru as the father, Jaken as the annoying but protective older brother, AhUn as the ever loyal guardian pet dragon, Inuyasha the brash headstrong uncle, Miroku the perverted uncle, Sango the attentive but dutiful aunt—or maybe elder sister, Shippo the overprotective younger brother, and Kirara another dutiful guardian pet neko youkai. She never could find a place for Kagome, some days she would act sisterly and others motherly. Now after finding out she was dead she now knew were she belonged. The mother, the alpha female as Lord Sesshomaru would put it. No, she wouldn't expect her lord to actually love her but sometimes she wished he did. She bit her lip, she wanted to cry so bad but knew better than that and even if she didn't should be able to. Rin wanted to know exactly how she died; she wanted some kind of closure…anything…_anything_ would do. Rin knew that she had been the last person that had seen her and had seen it, that look, her lord had seen it too. Rin wasn't blind, that lost look in her eyes was apparent and that broken smile never quite reached her eyes…and what had hurt her, the most…was…was that murderous intent that glowed in her eyes for two seconds. In those two second Lord Sesshomaru's eyes harden hand moving swiftly to Tokijin, but then Kagome's eyes widen in horror. Eyes glistened with tears, her hand tightened and she forcibly smiled at Rin telling her that everything was going to be okay and for the better for her now. The knuckles on her hand had turned white. She suspected that Kagome never noticed the blood seeping from her hands. An ominous feeling tore through her heart, something bad was going to happen to Kagome. When Kagome never came back she knew that premonition came true. If Kagome had known that promise was to be broken would she have ever given that promise? In those lonely nights she had hoped and promised to Kami that she would see Kagome smile at her once with that kind caring smile she once had.

Inuyasha and Sango thought the same exact thing, how could they have just stood and watched as that man (human on Inuyasha's part) slowly crush Shippo's head. Had Kagome would have done something.

Inuyasha felt disgusted with himself, how could he have just stood hearing and watching Shippo in pain and agony. Then he had smelt Shippo's blood in the air. Something that inside the eyes of that human made him freeze there. The look in Kai clearly said that he was enjoying what he was doing. Enjoying the fact that he was torturing the small kit both psychologically and physically, he had never seen that before, youkai just didn't do that, they had some morals and standards; usually they went for the quick kill. Never did a youkai do that** (3)**, especially to child not matter human or youkai, torture was instilled only to fully grown. Inuyasha hadn't known what to do.

Sango held unto Shippo tightly against her breast. Never again. She looked at Kai; he hasn't said a word since then, what wasn't that was left unfinished by Kagome that they couldn't do themselves. She wanted him gone. How could Kagome ever befriend such a person? How could she have frozen up like that—oh she knew why but still how could she have just stood there? There was monster in there; those blue-black eyes had scared down to her very core. She had known that if she had so much as moved a muscle he would have crushed Shippo's head in a second. If Rin hadn't stopped him then, Shippo wouldn't be here right now. She suspected that Miroku had known this from the start, before the mess occurred. Why hadn't he said anything though? He still hasn't said anything. Had he sensed the monster in him as well?

Miroku hadn't sensed a monster, he had sensed something else and had wanted to see outcome of what he had sensed. He regretted his bad judgment but that could not have been helped as monk he was taught that there were certain things that he could not interfere in. This was one of those times. Just like Kagome's disappearance. Yes, he regretted it but he did not feel sorry because there was nothing to feel sorry for.

Kai sat right next to Rin, in safe distance that he would not be intruding upon. The girl wanted to cry but couldn't find it herself to cry she needed something…some closure. He got on his feet. Everyone's eyes instant fell on him. He looked at Sesshomaru for permission.

"I will return shortly."

He didn't answer, instead closed his golden eyes once more. Taking that as a silent 'you may go' he left, he stalked off to Bone Eaters Well were he had left his sac.

When he said shortly.

He meant short.

Barely a minute had passed when he returned; he sat down right where he was before.

Rin looked at him curiously as he rummaged through his sac.

"It's okay to cry you know," whispered softly to her, she sensed the tension in the air. Everyone had heard that.

_What a hypocritical thing to say_, Sango thought angrily.

He softly took out a crystal box with light gold lining. Inside Rin saw papers inside and something metallic. He saw him quickly take out the papers and put them inside his sac.

He turned it upside down twisted a crystal like key a couple of times.

"I made it long time go for Kagome," Kai softly told her, "it took three years to find that small metallic trinket in the middle, but it was worth it." He glanced at the starry sky, then back at Rin.

"And another year to finish constructing the box that holds it in, finding the materials for the making of the box was very time consuming," his eyes were on the crystal box, "it meant to be given on her fifteenth birthday. She was rather _busy_ that year, so gave to her on her sixteenth."

"What is it," she looked at the box in wonder. Now that she noticed it there were beautiful intricate swirls and designs in it.

"A long time ago Kagome had heard a very enticing song, but had heard it only one time her life, she would hum to herself when she thought no one was looking but I wasn't stupid. I had caught her doing it so many times. I promised myself that I would find that song and give it her on her birthday one day. Imagine her surprise when I gave it her, she was beyond ecstatic. She loved it so much. It's a music box." He said simply.

Rin looked at the box carefully. How did it carry music inside it?

"Know Kagome I made sure it was indestructible and impossible to scratch. Not even a youkai can damage that."

Rin looked at him then back at the music box.

"Open it and you will see," he smiled down at her.

He smiled at her. A true smile, which glowed just as Kagome's had, it shocked her that even she didn't open the box.

He opened it for her.

Soft song slowly drifted in the air, she looked inside and saw the metallic slowly rotate making the music.

"It's yours," he still had that smile only pointed at her. "Kagome made me promise to give it to you on your eighteenth. You look eighteen. Still Doll is the name of the song."

She was silent, as was everyone. Rin remained silent because it was so rare when she got such a gift that had such a sentiment.

Everyone else—except for Sesshomaru—was shocked because apparently they all thought this feeling impossible for him to produce.

"She died with a smile."

…..

…..

**(1) **I don't know if you know or not but that position is when you but is sticking out in the air while your chest it flat in your back. That's what I remember from ROP. Correct if I'm wrong and I'll change it.

**(2) **He seems like he's five and his behavior gives me vibes of a five year old at times.

**(3) **Seriously haven't _in_ Inuyasha from what I can remember ever intentionally hurting a small child that way. And I can't say that Naraku counts because he removed Kohaku's memories, in weird ironic way if you squint I think he's protecting him from a chaotic life. _I think._

**A/N: For those of wondering why it is I made Kai really bitter and mean. You must remember that he still feels more than a little sour from Kagome's death and among other reasons that will be revealed later in other chapters. On another note who here other than feel more than a little happy that summer vacation started. XD **

**Review.**


	4. Contemplations

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.**

Why did he always seem so… so, she couldn't seem to find the right word. He only smiled one time, and that had been directed to her only, was she special? She wanted to ask but she knew better than that. Rin had a feeling that she had been the only one to witness that smile, since no one else had any sort of reaction than her; and her reaction had been a simple small widening of her eyes.

Rin hadn't wanted to go; she never stated her reason allowed as to why she wanted to stay, she just simply said, "I am going to stay, Sesshomaru-sama."

This led to Sesshomaru and his small pack staying and forming some sort of 'alliance' between the two groups. Of course Sesshomaru only had stayed because Inuyasha had said to his ward, "Ya, ain't stayin' here ya wench." Really what had he expected after saying such an uncouth statement in front of his half-brother.

He had it coming, that's all she had mentally thought.

Kai seems to have a knack of enjoying violence, why would she say that? Well during Sesshomaru little act of showing Inuyasha who the 'Alpha' really was during his stay, she had seen Kai's blue eye lighten in amusement, like he found Inuyasha humiliation amusing.

* * *

She had realized after the first day that Kai had some sort of vendetta against Inuyasha's pack, specifically: Inuyasha, Sango and Shippo. She didn't know what he thought of the Houshi, Miroku, since neither Miroku nor Kai had made a move to acknowledge each other. So she could not make any other conclusion about them other than simple indifference between the two until they talk to each other.

Sesshomaru was respected, that was a given.

She realized a week ago that Kai wasn't much of a talker, the first time they had met him must have been some kind of rare occurrence. He seemed to ignore all questions asked to his direction except for _her_ question, which made her feel a little wary about him. If Sesshomaru were to ask him a question, something told her that he would answer him.

* * *

"_She died with a smile."_

He knew how Kagome had died, not only that but had also witnessed the event. Maybe that was why he seemed like he had _"An icy stick shoved up his ass,"_ was the way Kagome would have referred to his attitude.

* * *

Rin glanced at the sleeping Kai, had he smiled more when Kagome had been alive.

She heaved a sigh, "Rin," she turned her head to her lord, "Sleep."

"Hai," she made a move lie down when a question popped into her head, "Sesshomaru-sama. Do you think that Kai would have been a nice person to meet in different circumstances?"

No response, she knew he wouldn't answer but he didn't have to speak aloud for her to answer her question. "Hai."

She smiled, but sometimes he would answer her, "I suspect he witnessed the moment Ka…" she didn't finish her statement, for saying it out loud for her would be as though she was accepting her death. She wasn't ready to let go of the closest person to mother she ever had.

"My mother, I can't remember her face," not knowing she was speaking aloud. "Does that make me a bad daughter? I can't even remember her smile or laugh, every time I think about my mother, I think of Kagome. Am I dishonoring mother by replacing her? Have I disrespected her? I don't feel sad whenever I think about mother, but when I think her I feel empty inside. I am horrible person to think that."

Sesshomaru made no move to comfort his ward; he had no experience in such a subject. Had she subconsciously said this aloud in attempt to find her answers to the questions that caused her pain?

For the first time in centuries, he was at lost to what he should do; his ward had always been different from the typical ningen.

"You're not horrible person," another voice spoke.

Rin snapped her head to Miroku, tears running down her face, realizing that she was crying she wiped her eyes. Had she spoken aloud, she must have made her lord uncomfortable with her simple ningen worries.

"I cannot find myself to remember my own parents faces, but I does not mean that have dishonored them in any way, it just means I have moved on. One cannot always dwell in the past for it will only taint that ones soul. You have moved on from your parents' death, but cannot find yourself to move on from Kagome."

"You shouldn't feel guilty for seeing Kagome as mother either; she did have motherly way when it came to young children. It is understandable; it's human nature to seek guidance. That is what parents are, our guidance to the world. They are our comfort…our everything until adulthood. Since that was taken away from you, you had unwittingly sought out for your own guidance. Do not feel guilt for something you had no control over and understand that it is also human nature to let go. If you don't let go, you'll become something other, something much like Naraku. He who could not let go of Kikyo and we all know how that turned out don't we. Let go and move on. Don't lose yourself to your sorrow."

"Thank you Houshi-sama," she found herself gaining respect for the perverted houshi.

"Sleep now, you seem tired Rin." He said this as he adjusted himself into a sleeping position.

Despite his words, she still couldn't help it, she didn't want to let go, not until she knew why and how Kagome had died. Maybe then she will be able to let go. Only time will tell, she hoped she really had died with a smile. Her last thought as she fell asleep was how similar Kai's smile was to Kagome's smile.

* * *

"You were awake throughout the entire time," Sesshomaru stated.

"I was," Kai spoke quietly, "though not listen in. I wished to know why she had acted so differently when it came to Kagome's un-timely death. I have my answer now. She simply has different perspective views of life than the regular below average human mind. Had she grown up in my time, she would have been considered a prodigy of the human mind. That is indeed a rare occurrence even in my time. Brilliant minds are so hard to come by."

"Hn"

* * *

The Houshi had words of wisdom; he silently thanked the man for comforting Rin. Kai wished that he had been there to give him that wisdom when he had been by himself during the first days of mourning. He was right, he hadn't been able to let go and look how he stands now.

He understood Rin's way of thinking, he use to have the same thoughts.

That had been a long time ago.

A very long time ago.

...

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**Sorry for the late up-date but school started once more, and guess what I have NIGHT school AGAIN -_-: It's not fair! But I deserve it anyways. Not only that but I started school on August 23rd! that's worse than last year last it was the 26th and the year before that the 27th and the year... you get the picture, but I seriously don't mind. But OMG pick a date already! Glad this my last year in that school. Ha, you guys don't didn't have read that but still it's just it can be fustrating! Gonna be extremely busy the next few months but I will try to keep up on up-dating. **

**Guess what I was listening to when I wrote this. Johnny Cash, such a wonderful singer and artist. He will be missed.**

**Again please forgive my late up-date.**

**Review**


	5. Comparisons

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.**

**A/N: Here's a little insite on Kai's mind, so he won't look like a complete emotionless bastard. So without further a do here you go ^.^'**

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...

The hot beaming sun had finally cooled to a more tolerating heat. He sat down on a boulder: away from the group, away from their silent murmurs, away from their glares, away from the curious stare, and away from the sake of being away. He wanted some solitude, some time to think for himself; his sister how he missed her, her craziness, her bubbliness*, he missed everything about her. Had he done the right thing, should he have listened to her or should he have stayed stubborn?

He has made many mistakes in his short life but questioning them won't set things right. Nothing is going to change, what has been done is done, going back won't help now. _The sky is starting to turn pink_, he thought, _Kagome would you have laughed and said you wanted to eat the pink fluffy clouds?_ He took out a dark leather bound book and touched to cover with two fingers. _Miss me?_ He wouldn't open the book he has read it some many times he knew the words by heart. The book, it wasn't actually a book but it not being a book didn't matter it was still very precious to him; it was all he had left.

"Are you going to eat?"

He looked to the side and saw the girl, Rin, sit down next to him with speared fish in hand, she stared up to the pinkish-purple sky, stars were barely starting to appear in the sky. What could the girl want?

"Here, I saved you one," she gestured for him to take the speared fish.

Rin. How he wished she wasn't the one sitting next to him, he wanted his sister. _Go away_. She smiled at him, _Stop smiling at me_. She reminded him too much of what his sister could have, would have and will never be. He didn't need any reminders of what could have been.

"You know Kai, usually when someone is talking to someone and that person doesn't respond it usually means that that person is being very rude to the person trying to start a conversation," she said tucking strands of hairs behind her ear much like his sister used to.

"The air," he started, "it is still hot but more humid."

Her brows furrowed in confusion.

"It will rain in a few days," he deadpanned.

"Oh"

She looked back to the glittery sky. He shouldn't dislike her; it wasn't her fault that she shared the same attributes as his sister.

"Your hair, she told me you would pull your hair up to the side."

"Huh…oh that," she laughed nervously, "I just stopped putting it up one day, not that I got bored with it, I just wanted something different, you know."

He nodded even though he didn't know.

"Here," she stabbed the speared fish to the ground, "Eat it before it gets cold." She got up and headed back to the group.

"You may resemble her but you are still you and she is she." He murmured to himself.

She didn't hear it.

He sat in silence waiting for the sun to rise once more; she had her quirks but his sister had this pull to her that made him feel secure and Rin will never give him that feeling. It didn't matter if had just met her or if he had known her for years the feeling would still be the same. Even through his sisters' bouts of instability, she still made him feel like a somebody, like he wasn't alone in the world; just like an older sister should. Rin, on the other hand made him feel like everything will be okay now, like he shouldn't blame anyone anymore and he didn't want to feel that way. He had every right to feel the way he was feeling, he wanted: to hate, to blame, to be angry and no little naïve young girl will change his mind.

He felt tired, so very tired, he felt so confused…he didn't know what to feel right now. The heaviness in his eyes wouldn't leave. He didn't want to sleep yet, not yet, not ever but he was only human. How many days has it been seen he has gotten a good nights rest one, two … five years. Five years he hasn't slept without awakening feeling: this heaviness, this pain, this guilt, this anger, this confusion, this…this tiredness.

Would she hate him, the way Kagome had, if she knew the truth? The fish looked appetizing, his stomach seemed to agree.

_You think too much you know._

Yes, Kagome, he did think too much but at least his brain wasn't filled with air. He pinched a piece of the already cold fish and tossed it to the dirt ground and stared at as he ate the fish.

Time always seems to pass by quickly when a person is left to his own thoughts. Thoughts that keep that person awake because the person is afraid of sleeping. Afraid to sleep because sleeping would in tell dreaming, these that were dreams terrifying, that were reminders of his life, of his mistakes, his regrets…was he dreaming right now?

"Kai."

Kami, he can't tell if he is sleeping right now. Is this a nightmare or a night terror? The doctors had told him that he wouldn't be able to tell if he was awake or not during these times or was that part of the dream. Oh Kami, why couldn't he move, why did his body feel so numb, why can't he scream, why can't he move? Why can't he breathe? The air is so thick. **

"Kai."

_The trauma will always remain there; you will have to learn to live with it._

"Kai"

_It's your fault! If you hadn't been so insistent then he'd still be here!_

"Kai!"

_I wish you were the one that was dead!_

"KAI!"

Rin stood next to him with an angry and worried expression, the one that Kagome wore every time she felt she had gone too far with her games. He could almost feel her hugging him and crying apologizing when he knew she'd do it again **(1)**. He didn't understand why she wore the expression, he didn't understand.

"Why didn't you answer me?"

"I apologize if I have worried you."

"Why did you look so…so frightened?" She said getting closer to him. "You looked so scared."

"Ridiculous."

She scowled but then broke to a smile, "Com'on the group is already leaving."

She skipped ahead of him two-headed dragon and kappa. The Kappa immediately began to reprimand the girl but was quickly silenced by a glare from the demon lord, Sesshomaru.

He looked up at the sky and mentally sighed, it seemed his prediction of rain will come true in a few days time.

...

...

...

***Don't know if that is actually a word or not correct if I'm wrong.**

****Okay what Kai is feeling can actually happen to someone. I know, its a very scary experience it's like your not dreaming because your fully aware of your surroundings but at the same time not. You feel like you can't breathe but you know you are...the whole ordeal is horrible and when it's over you still have the after affects on you and feel very shaking but I don't what its called. My sister thinks its a stage of your REM sleep with your eyes open. But hey she can be wrong. **

**(1) Kagome did not rape him, so get that out of your minds., sickos.**

**Can anyone guess when Kai went to sleep? I'll give some comic relief in the next chapter.**


	6. Impossible

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.**

**This chapter starts off when Kai first appears then gradually moves to present time. **

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...

...

"…dead"

Dead, he had repeated that word over and over in his head hoping that somehow those words would do something. He did not want to believe it—no, he couldn't believe it, sure she had been clumsy but that did not warrant her to die. Kagome was just too full of life to die. She was his very first friend to accept him for who he was not just some half-breed, nor did she even think about wanting him to change for her. To her he was just Inuyasha, and she was just Kagome, it never had mattered to her the some many differences they had, and he at some point and time had fallen for her in those first few days, but then everything had gone done hill when she, Kikyo, had come back. All these emotions had come crashing down reminding him that he had loved someone before her and like the idiot he was he went to her knowing that if Kagome were to ever to find them together that it just ruin her, but did he care…he wanted to say yes and he wanted to say no. He didn't know the true answer.

He had hurt some many times, and so many times he had promised himself that he had stop because he loved her but he just couldn't remove his former love out of his heart. He knew that Kikyo had been using his feeling to her advantage at some point but like a love sick puppy he convinced himself that it was just in his head. He should have listened to her but he had not. Instead he had lashed out at her and antagonized her, called her weak, useless, a shard detector anything to get rid of his guilt; those words only caused more guilt. Causing this animosity between them, he that she'd eventually start hating him and wanted that because she had deserved better, but his male pride had stopped the many suitors from approaching her, making her miserable. Inuyasha had just felt so jealous, jealous at seeing another male wanting her the way he has wanted her, he had to let her go because he was loved another that was not Kagome but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that it was Kikyo that he had seen in her, he knew had been lying to himself. He had still loved her and that had hurt because he was pushing her away and because she came back hoping for him to see her.

_Didn't you see Kagome that I had still loved you even though I myself never spoke it out loud?_

Couldn't she see that she was hurting self by waiting for him? Could she see that even if she tried to start something with him that she'd only end up getting hurt herself? Those calm grey-blue eyes yearning for him, he had wanted to shake her into understanding that he was no good and would have done to if he had not been so selfish. There had been an inner turmoil in him and finally when the storm had cleared he realized that he had loved her all long but by then it had been already too late. She had gone home and had sealed the well, of course the moment he come this conclusion he responded in his usual gruff way.

"_The bitch sealed the well_!_"_

He had regretted those words but he could have taken back those words, he has pushed her way and caused this…hatred between the group and him. He should have known better, he should have known better. He gave the appearance of not caring anymore but inside he had mourned for his loss and Kikyo well she realized that he no longer returned her love and that she had lost him. She came by every now and then to give him silent company but he never truly saw her. Inuyasha had not wanted her company at all, Kikyo to him only served as reminder for his mistakes.

It seemed that even Naraku had stopped coming, no more incarnations, no more Kohaku attacking, nothing, he had just stopped. He suspected that he was waiting for something, what that was he didn't know.

After awhile Kikyo stopped coming, making him feel even more miserable because the only thing—no _person_ that had some resemblance in Kagome had disappeared in his life but in the end he found himself thanking Kikyo because then he could truly finally move on.

Kikyo had returned after three and half a year, she came with news that had made him want to wish that he still loved her but he knew better now; he wouldn't play with her feeling for him.

"Kagome's dead."

That single statement, he had no idea that two simple words could cut deeper than any knife could. How long had Kagome been dead now? and who was this male to her? her husband? His scent seemed intertwined with hers enough. The male was lying to cover for Kagome that must be it.

No, that wasn't it he could smell the lie if he was lying.

A fortnight had already passed, his bastard brother had decided to join together with his group—no, not his group anymore. He just couldn't put his clawed finger on it but that man, Kai seemed familiar to him some how, the familiarity was just too close for comfort, were had he met the male? There was no way that that man was from his time, considering the article of clothing he wore. Then there was that bag,_ rubble, double, d-d-do-duffle bag_! That what it was called; could he be Hojo? No, Kagome had made it clear that she had only liked the male as a friend.

Dawn was approaching, it seemed Kai had not accepted Rin offer at the meal, such a waste, he sighed from the branch he sat and looked down at Sesshomaru, who to an ordinary ningen thought him sleeping, but he knew better. That bastard never seemed to sleep. He looked at the fluffy thing his half older brother was currently resting on.

He smirked.

_He looked at the woman he had fallen for, she next him in rare mutual silence but knowing her that silence would not last long. He decided considering it was a rather nice day, and that she'd enjoy the rest he decided to call it quits for today, in which his whole pack had heaved a huge, "Finally." That caused him to glare at them and stalk off to hill and sulk. Of course she had followed._

"_Inuyasha," she began, "Thanks."_

"_Keh, what for?" he said looking at her suspiciously like she'd do something unexpected, like pull a weapon out of her very short and inappropriate kimono. _

"_You know for giving us the day off."_

"_Keh, it was nothin'."_

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"_You know Sesshomaru—"_

"_Of cours' I know the bastard!"_

"_I know you do! Let me finish," she snapped then smacked him across the shoulder rather roughly._

"_Ow! What was that for?" both he and her knew that it didn't hurt and that he was just humoring her but that hadn't mattered._

"_You made me forget!" She pointed her finger at him._

"_How's that my fault!"_

"_Never mind," she huffed._

_He didn't know how he had long stayed quiet a short breeze passed by reminding him that she was still there. He wanted drag her to his lap and just stay there but then knowing her she'd probably make it awkward._

"_I remember now, you know Kouga has tail, Shippo has a tail, practically all the canine type demon had a tail, does that mean that the thing wrapped around Sesshomaru's person is _actually_ his tail because if that's his tail then that's an abnormally long tail, and that makes him_ not_ the killing perfection but the killing _abnormality_. I mean you I understand why _you_ don't have a tail, but you have dog ears so that makes up for not having a tail, and if so does that mean he's more connected to his dog-like instincts then you are because you're half human making you a little less of a dog then your brother, you what I mean?"_

"…"

"_I mean for example if were to per say oh I don't put I cat and him in the same room, would he want to chase the cat up a tree and circle the tree while barking because he can't up there and his tail's hair is standing end because he's that angry. And how come when he get angry at you his tail does get all ruffled, does that mean he's not really angry at you and just following the basic principals of all dogs to want to play fight with each other, and if he really is playing fighting he's playing pretty roughly well in my opinion, I mean hey if you like it rough that's all you and that so came out wrong, I'm shutting up now." She said looking down at her lap red-faced._

_He had stopped listening when the image of Sesshomaru chasing a cat up a tree barking and acting all stupid popped into his head. All he could do was burst out laughing._

_Kagome joined in too with a nervous loud laugh, but then the nerve-like laughter went away; it was laugh out loud fest those for that short while when…_

"_WHAT YOU MEAN I LIKE IT ROUGH?"_

_Of course he had to yell right when the rest of his pack had come to retrieve them._

_Shippo had a confused look to him, Sango had a awkward look, and Miroku a knowing perverted look in his face. His ears tucked back, when he slowly looked to find an angry blushing miko._

"_OUSWARI!"_

He doesn't how many sits he got after the first one; all he remembered was that Kagome wouldn't look at him without blushing and getting all weird on him.

"Inuyasha! Come on were leaving!"

"Alright, ya don't have ta yell." He jumped down from his perch annoyed at them for disrupting his few moment of peace.

After the first few steps he felt Shippo jump onto his shoulder, Shippo gave him a small smile, he didn't smile back just continued walking. Although Shippo didn't know, he would always protect the small kit no matter what, because in away Shippo was like a small little brother to him, like Souta was.

"KAI!"

He gave a quick glance back to see a worried Rin and a passive faced Kai. He hated him but something told him inside that he shouldn't. He ignored the feeling; he hated him because the bastard looks so much like Kagome.

He stopped dead. No.

_Kagome had just managed to push her brother out of her room._

_With a slam she turned smiling at him, "You know Inuyasha my momma used to say that when I was Souta's age I looked just like him. If Souta and I were the same age we'd be just like twins, cool huh?"_

"_Keh, well yer not lets go." He didn't miss the hurt look across her face, nor did he miss the guilt that crossed his heart, he squashed the feeling with a 'keh'._

"HENTAI!"

No he couldn't be, but his scent now made sense. Kagome would never let her brother come here no matter what happened, so what happened. He knew what happened, he knew, HE KNEW!

He slammed Kai to the nearest tree, and held him by the neck, "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO KAGOME SOUTA? WERE THE HELL IS SHE?"

A twisted smile crossed the males face.

He saw red.

* * *

I'd like to give thanks to Sora7 who gave me the idea for this chapter.

**A/N: I hope I kept Inuyasha in character, it's really hard to keep them in character. BTW this chapter was my sad attempt in humor I think I should stick with drama, nods to self in agreement.-_-' **


	7. Liar

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.**

If looks could kill then Kai would be dead now, and how Sango wished at the moment he was dead now. She didn't know where the root of her hate was coming from, maybe it was because this man had come out of Kami knows where spitting out lies that could Kagome would ever say and for her to befriend such a person…it just wasn't in her character. She knew her like a sister she never had so why, it didn't make sense. And what made it worse was the fact that the man looked so familiar to her, she just couldn't stomach it. Maybe the heat was getting to her, so early in the morning and it was this hot already she gave a quick glance around. Sesshomaru-sama was ahead of them probably trying to have as little contact with them as possible who knew what going in that TaiYoukai mind of his. Inuyasha was surprisingly caring Shippo, _that's a first_, she thought.

Shippo, ever since that day he has been quiet he didn't even pick fights with Inuyasha anymore. He barely speaks now only saying the basic of things, the words Kai said hit him hard. It must have gotten to him; the truth hurts even if they are half truths. He lied. Sango, Miroku, hell even Inuyasha knew that the Kitsune Youkai although protective of their young would never stoop so low as to allow a Kit to come to the hands of a ningen and for a kit as old as Shippo, whom obviously held power judging by his human characteristics, to even let himself be touched by human was betrayal to all Kitsune Clans, he's lucky that hasn't been caught yet. Being caught meant certain death one that even they could not interfere in because that was just the way it is. But why had he lied while still being cruel it made no sense. It just frustrated her to no end, what was going on in that mans' mind. He was ruining the peace that they had, she wanted him gone. Her glare intensified tenfold.

The soft clanking that Miroku's staff only made reminded her that the monk has been acting suspiciously quiet too quiet. He hasn't even groped her yet! Not that she was complaining but still—she shouldn't have jinxed it, she face fuming with anger she raised her hand.

"HENTAI!"

Had she hit a little too hard then normally she will never know since the perverted Houshi never gave any signs besides giving her an innocent look.

Rin had turned around and looked at them sending Sango a curious look, she sighed how that girl managed to remain so innocent to lecherous side of the world she will never but she had her suspicions.

* * *

"_You have recovered greatly most people don't recover without major repercussions."_

_He gave the doctor a blank-like stare, one that he had adopted in order to deal with reality, "Like what kind?"_

"_Mental barrier, blackouts with and/or episodes, flashbacks, breakdowns you know the whole crazy package."_

_He glanced down at his lap, "I know you've through a lot what with…you're still walking to that road to recovery but you no longer need us to hold any more." Lying is so easy. "I hope we meet again in different circumstances." Especially if that person who is being lied to really wants to believe the lie._

Kai's crazy, it takes one to know one right? He always knew he was crazy, he was never one to accept lies accept if it involved his sister then he'd be willing to accept her lies. She was his elder sister after all she knew better, it was always so easy to accept her lies, the sad part is that she has lied so much to him he can't separate the lies from the truth not that it matters anymore.

She wanted to be an actor that was her dream. He wanted to be her manager. They were joined to the hip, that what they used to say that all the time.

_The slammed shut followed be the rushing of footsteps._

"_We don't slam doors here," came the shout of an irritate mother._

"_I got the part momma! I got the part momma!" A barely turned thirteen Kagome run inside the kitchen were Souta had an old camera pointed at Kagome recording her as they were speaking. Her ecstatic face glowed; she was made for the big films. _

"_Got the part for what? Being the extremely ugly one?" he snarked. _

_She stuck her tongue at him, "No but I heard they were looking for you for that part!" She shot back._

"_Nice," their mother said as she finished wiping her hands._

The play had been a musical, one of the many Disney movies out there. A slightly minor role in his opinion, she had been Miss. Potts. That had been the opening of her possibly up starting career. But then…he had never trusted them, he never found out the reason why and he didn't want to, there were some things that are meant to be sacred his sister's innocence was one of them.

He had tried telling Kagome that those people who had contracted her were no good, even in his ten year old mind he knew that much. He warned her.

_Momma wouldn't tell him much she had just told him not to bother his sister but he wanted to comfort even though he didn't know. He took advantage when his momma had gone shopping._

"'_Gome," he whispered as he cracked the door open to his sister's room, "can you…can you tell me everything is okay?"_

"…"

"'_Gome, why won't you look at me?"_

"_You had to fuckin' say something," Kagome raised her head so quickly that it caused him to take a step back, "you just had to. You ruined everything!" Tears ran down her bruised and swollen face, "it's always you! Look!" She pointed at her face, "is this what you wanted? This is your fault!" She began to sob into her hands, he noticed red marks on her wrists, "I'm so dirty, I hope you're happy." She continued to repeat that she was filthy over and over._

_He quietly closed the door and went his room and stared blankly at the wall, he could still hear her, he covered his ears with is hands, he could still hear her. He shut his eyes; the image of her face won't go away. Boys don't cry. Boys don't cry. Boys don't cry. His eyes hurt. Boys don't cry. It's his fault, he shouldn't have said anything. Boys don't cry._

_Gentle hands put his hands down and hugged him tightly, "I'm sorry," came the whispered voice of his sister. Tears ran freely down his eyes. Boys don't cry. "It isn't your fault." Lair, but is so easy to accept it then the truth._

_They stayed like that until their mother came in and found them hugging each other slumped on the bed. _

"Boys don't cry," he whispered to himself.

If he hadn't been stuck in past he probably would have dodged it.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO KAGOME SOUTA? WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?"

Well isn't he just a bag of sunshine.

Blood, it had been everywhere he can still smell on his skin.

"_You promised."_

"_Yeah, I did."_

It's so simple to tell a lie, a small smile cracked in his face.

Inuyasha eyes are going red. Oh dear.

The small smile disappeared as he saw Inuyasha crashing to the floor a few away. He noticed the surprised looks across everyone's faces. He arched a brow; he walked to Inuyasha and pressed a steel-toed boot on his chest, "What did you just assume that Kagome was the only one blessed with spiritual abilities Inuyasha." He said looking down at Inuyasha.

"It's in the blood," he continued before anyone could say anything, "of course you wouldn't know about blood would you hanyou. The Higurashi men have always had more power than the women," he pressed his foot harder feeling a rib starting to crack.

"I've always admired you Inuyasha; up until that day now," his face was starting to show signs of pain and realization that he couldn't move, "you're just trash, filth."

"You want to know what happened. You want to know where she is." He whispered softly. There go two ribs.

"Suicide and after life," two more have joined the broken ribs.

"That's enough!" Hard violet eyes stared him down.

"hn," he removed his foot.

"Liar!" Sango yelled fury raging in her brown eyes.

With a bored sway to his feet he moved to a tree and leaned onto it, "Are you saying this because you're one of the many stupid people who believed she was the epitome of all purity and kindness? Well let me tell you a little secret nobody is ever pure except for children and that usually never last that long does it? The only one ever to become that pure was Kikyo but even the purist can become corrupted look at her now. How can you honestly believe that a teenage high school girl can ever be pure, it is simply impossible. Everyone has skeleton hidden, even Kagome."

"Kagome was a nice person, she never did anything—" Rin began softly.

"Nice person," he said bitterly, "yeah she was a nice person. But she wasn't ever pure because she is human. She was only nice to those that deserved it." He softly murmured the last part.

"The hanyou referred to you as Souta," Sesshomaru spoke for the first time and probably the last time for a very long while.

"Souta is my real name Sesshomaru-sama. I'm sure you already figured that I am Kagome's brother."

He gave no indication of answering that question but it didn't take a genius to figure it out.

"Brother."

He looked down at the kit, "yes, brother."

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**A/N: I should be in bed right now but I just had to. Until next time ^.^**


	8. Broken

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.**

**A/N: This whole chapter is one huge flashback until the end. No one will ever know about these flashbacks.**

**...**

**...**

**...**

_He stared at the present with vacant eyes, he should be happy but he isn't. In fact he wanted to yell at her, no he wanted to slap her across the face, how dare she? He glanced at his sister gray-blue eyes shimmering mischievously like she accomplished something great. Which she did, she managed only to be late by a month an amazing in itself since she usually brings him something shitty and it three months late. She seemed eager for him to open the damn present. He knew he was being ungrateful but something in his gut was telling him that it was wrong. Wrong in the nature of a foreboding sinister grievance is coming to play. _

"_You haven't opened it yet," she whined as she pushed his hands into opening the damn present, "I went through the trouble of having it personally made for you."_

_Souta looked down at the present, _you make it seem like I put you through a great burden_. He was starting to get tired of it, the feeling he felt was like a cool simmering pot starting to over boil. "You still blame me." He murmured._

"_What?"_

"_You still blame me for father's death," he got to his feet the present all but forgotten on the floor clattering, "I can see it in your eyes."_

"_What are you yammering about; I stopped blaming you a long ass time ago!"_

"_Don't you fucking lie to me Kagome! If you weren't blaming me then you would have been here a month ago, better yet you'd still be here with your family instead of spending so much time over there! Did you know mother was sick, of course you don't you'd rather spend your time in wonderland! I was five fucking years old, you were the older sister you should have comforted me but no, instead you blamed me. You made me make a promise I couldn't keep and blamed me for it. You've always blamed me for every thing!"_

"_I wasn't there all those other fucking times because I had other more important things going on, like oh don't know keeping an evil hanyou from taking over the world!"_

"_Oh please, stop using the guy for an excuse the world isn't going to end just because you weren't there one day, the whole world doesn't revolve around you. You're not even trying to deny it!"_

"_You promised! You promised that nothing would happen! If it wasn't for you he'd still be here! If you hadn't been so persistent then he'd still be here! I wish you were the one that had died!" Tears ran freely down her face as she sobbed, he stood there frozen in shock she hadn't stopped hating him for it even now eleven years later she still held that hate and it hurt, "You ruined our family, you broke our family. I can't let it go ever because he's never going to come back."_

_He looked at his sister with a cool calculating gaze as she stared at him in teary-eyed shock on the floor where she had landed from the blow she had received. She gently touched her stinging cheek. She looked scared but at the same seeming to have an epiphany. _

"_No," he whispered softly, all this she has blamed him, threatened him, hurt him psychologically in a way that he will never fully acknowledge, he hated her but…but he couldn't really hate her because she was Kagome his sister, and he loved her he doesn't know what to feel, "I didn't break this family, our family was hurt because of his death but never was it broken. No, the only thing that is breaking is you Kagome. It's your idiocy that is breaking you, just look at yourself; you can't even control your temper."_

_He picked up the present and moved to the bench near the God Tree and sat down opening the present, he knew his sister was following but taking her on time getting there probably still recovering from the backhand he had given her, he wasn't above hitting a hysterical girl. A katana, the blade was sleek almost like it was made of water, the guard black and blue, it was beauty among swords, how had she managed to acquire it._

_He could feel her eyes boring down on him, "It'sa secret." She said not knowing she had answered the question that ran through his mind, "but I'll you this it is part of you." And like that her psychotic episode was all but forgotten, it was just the way they worked._

"_Its late you should be going to bed, after all you have to leave tomorrow right?"_

"_No, I'm not going back…aren't having a soccer game tomorrow? But your right I should be getting to bed, but before I go," she got close to him kneeling to get in eye level with him since he was still sitting, "You've grown up so much," she whispered, "your almost my height, will you promise me two things."_

"_Yes" he could see the desperation in her eyes._

"_Will you promise me that no matter happens you'll make the wish?" He didn't understand what 'make the wish' meant but so long as it got rid of that look of desperation in her eyes he'd say yes._

_He nodded._

"_Promise me that you'll do it when I ask you to do it. Promise me Souta."_

"_I promise."_

_She hugged him tightly against her chest; it was like she was afraid of letting go, "I'm so sorry for everything. Forgive me; I'll stay to watch your match for a little bit okay."_

_He stayed there sitting on that bench for who knows how long, just thinking, thinking of the small things in life that people took for granted, people who say life isn't short don't truly understand the deeper meaning of that phrase. It may seem like it isn't short, but if you think about it seems like just yesterday: that you just entered kindergarten, that you just had your first kiss, that you just saw you newborn for the first time, it really is first because as fast as it comes is, it is just as fast as it disappears. It all happens so fast, life is just so short._

_

* * *

_

"…_and there goes Higurashi…is he going to make it? Goal! He made it! He made it; the schools team is going to the finals for the first time in ten years!"_

"_Way to go Souta we made it to the finals."_

"_Keep up the good work, Higurashi."_

"_Were going to the finals!"_

_After much begging and pouting Souta had gotten his mother to agree to let him go to the after party, he was having the time of his life, but it seemed the party was coming to an end with MGMTs' 'Kids'. _

"_Hey Souta, come here."_

"_What's up Kuma," Kuma was Souta's best friend, who was moving after today, both were said to separate but were planning in keeping contact through the Internet and the phone._

"_Here," he said handing him a suspicious looking package, "You live in a secluded area, and since your moms sick and it just you and your senile grandpa and sickly sister, ya gonna need the protection it's a semi-automatic pistol. You know just incase." He nodded in agreement. Who's what could happen up there._

"_Here let me explain how to use it."_

_He looked at the pistol in his hand; his mother most certainly would disapprove of it, and his well maybe. He put the gun on his back the way Kuma had taught him, and opened the door, "Mom I'm home," he hollered as he closed the door and made a bee line to the kitchen, his stomach was demanding food._

_He heard a thump and assumed it was just Inuyasha picking up his sister._

_The kitchen was a site to behold, he wanted to scream but he couldn't._

_Blood, it was everywhere. His mother's soft brown eyes open in frozen shock staring at nothing, her throat split open and had long since stopped bleed, his foot almost slipped, he looked down to see that his white socks were stained in her blood, he backed away from the kitchen into the dining room he kept backing away until he tripped on something he landed face to face of his… "Ahhh!"_

_

* * *

_

_A woman with bored expression, looking at her manicured nails answered the phone._

"_911 what's your emergency." All day she had been getting false alarms, and domestic disputes, which is still an emergency but after awhile it tends to get boring, not that the woman didn't take her job seriously, its just well…_

"_There blood everywhere it's on me!"_

"_There's blood," she signaled over somebody over for help, "is there somebody in the house with you?"_

"_I-I-I-I don't know," came the frantic answer, "There dead, I don't know if my sister, oh god. Its everywhere!" _

"_What's everywhere?"_

"_Blood! Its everywhere, dammit didn't you here. There all dead!"_

"_Who's dead."_

"_My family!_

"_Sir I'm going to have to ask you to stay calm and stay on the phone, can you do that for me?"_

"_Yeah," came the croaked answer._

"_Were sending somebody over okay."_

_No answer._

"_Sir?"_

_No response._

_

* * *

_

_She's still here. Is she alive? Is she hurt? Oh Kami please be okay. He ran upstairs to her room. The light was on, he slammed the door open, Kagome had a huge smile on her face; she had blood staining her uniform and thighs. She was smiling at like nothing was at amiss, "Souta your home," she was holding a bloody knife. "You're late for your surprise."_

"_What have you done Kagome?"_

_She smiled, "Now all of us can be together for ever."_

"_Why?" he whispered._

"_Why" she tilted her head to the side, "Well I had an epiphany and you know you are right," she giggled as she held the knife close to her chest, "I am breaking. Might as well break faster right?" She approached raising the knife high, screaming as she did and swung the knife. He pushed her away. Kagome slowly rose from the floor. Tears slid down her face, "I-I-I-I, I kept dreaming this Souta. Is something wrong with me?"_

_He didn't know what to answer._

_She got up and charged after him, he didn't know what to do, she's getting closer, he froze. His eyes widen as the came down, his feet moved to slow, the knife came down digging down on his right brow, even further into his eye, deep in his cheek down to his chin._

_Maybe it was the adrenaline that soared to through his veins that kept him from feeling the pain he didn't know, he just pushed with his muster and slammed her against the wall of her pink room, she slid down slowly. He knew he had hurt her bad when he saw the blood trailing. He couldn't say anything._

"_I'm sorry," she murmured softly, "Souta please kill me."_

_He didn't say anything._

"_Kill me Souta."_

_He saw her grip tighten on the knife. "Kill me."_

_Her hand moved slightly, "please."_

_He could hear his heart pounding in his ears._

"_Fine," she whispered, her knuckles were turning white, started to get up, blue eyes crazed feral, the look in her eyes, his hand moved too quickly for him to comprehend. He was confused how did it get there so quickly? "I'll kill you then myself," she yelled._

_A bang resounded caring the birds within the trees._

_More tears, he was crying he realized, Kagome looked at him from the floor; blood was seeping from the whole on her shoulder where he had shot her. The first shot had been an accident._

_He didn't know what to do._

_She looked up at him, those blue eyes no longer feral, "You promised."_

_He didn't answer right away; tears fell onto the bloodied carpet. The gun was pointed at her head, his knuckles was turning white, he looked at her straight in eye, "Yeah I did."_

_He managed to shoot her three times before his hand turned numb and dropped the gun. He fell to the floor, _you promised_ her voice echoed through his head. He held onto his head and screamed, screamed for the pain, screamed so he could no longer hear her voice, screamed until he couldn't anymore._

_That how the officers found him, on his knees holding his head tears dry in his face. Only when trying to move from that room did he finally react. A green-eyed American man was the first person he saw in his unstable mind. The man pulled him inside a car and drove him away to the police station. No one talked to him the first or second night. After that the questions ensued none of which he answered. _

_He was trialed for court with the suspicion of murdering his own family but evidence came, evidence he never wanted to see ever again in his lifetime. It was a video tape._

_She had recorded everything with his camera. Everything to his unadulterated scream, he was found not guilt for the murders of his mother and grandfather, but guilty for murdering his own sister. He was sent to a psychiatric hospital where he sunk further into his madness._

_The first night he prayed to himself as they injected him with some 'medicine to help him sleep a dreamless sleep'._

_Now I lay me down to sleep_

_I pray the lord my soul to keep_

_Should I die before I wake_

_I pray the lord my soul to take_

_Amen._

_He said this prayer for the first forty nights, forty because he had stopped counting after forty._

_

* * *

_

No one has spoken a word yet, it is still quiet, the sun is starting to bear down on them as it reaches mid-day. Shippo was still staring up at Souta after he asked him his question. Souta remained silent leaning a tree away from the unforgiving sun.

Miroku was the first to break the silence, "It is clear to us all that you won't speak much about Kagome, so would care to explain to us all why _you_ are really here? You did say earlier that you wanted to finish something Kagome had left unfinished."

**A/N: I don't know how it usually goes when someone dials 911 one, so basically I just pulled this out of my ass.**


	9. Stars

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. T.T**

_She was dreaming that was one thing she was sure of. It was a nice dream too, she by herself lying on a flowerbed looking up at the clouds. She let out a giggle when her imagination made the clouds look like a bunch of chickens and sheep; it didn't seem to bother her that her Sesshomaru-sama wasn't there. She got up and started to run in any direction, after all it as a dream, why not run around freely? She tripped on a rock and fell with an 'oomph'; she heard a soft shifting and looked up._

_Now she really knew she was dreaming, there stood Kagome staring at, no expression in her eyes just staring. She moved her lips but no sound came out._

"_I can't hear you," she said loudly._

_Kagome's brows furrowed, she spoke again but no sound came._

"_I still can't hear you," she said again._

_Kagome stopped trying to speak and stood the blank-faced, fed up she stood and made her way to her but Kagome shook her head furiously until she halted her movements. A full-blown smile appeared across her features and waved to someone behind her. She turned and gasped._

_Kai—no Souta stood behind her enraged not at her though but at Kagome. He was wearing all white clothing. He had bloodstained bandages in his wrists, his left eye hallow but anger clouded that cobalt blue eye the right side of his face was also covered in a bloodstained bandage. She turned around to question Kagome but what she saw made swallow the question. Kagome was still wearing the same clothing but it had blood now, she noticed the drop of blood that fell from the tip of her left forefinger. She smiled and stretched her hand beckoning her to come closer; she took a step back afraid of Kagome. The smile grew wider. She took another step back, her heart pounding against her chest. She grinned, tears falling down mixing with the blood on her cheeks. She backed away even more bumping into someone behind her, it was Souta. He moved her out of the way and walked to Kagome._

_She grabbed his wrist feeling the blood seep onto the palm of her hand he turned and looked at her and gently removed her hand from his wrist. He turned staring at the outstretched bloodied hand of his sister, he murmured something but she only caught the last of it, "…don't know anymore."_

_Souta turned to her, "You have overstayed your welcome leave."_

_The ground beneath her feet split. She fell. She didn't scream._

_

* * *

_

Sango stared into the vast sparkling night; she noticed a streak of light past by. What did Kagome call it, a shooting star…she always had weird way of naming things. She had never seen one before, perhaps it was because she had never bothered to star gaze before, it always seemed pointless to her and besides only women with foolish dreams seem to star gaze in her opinion, well that was before Kagome came along.

"_It's not foolish," she huffed crossing her arms when Inuyasha had barked at one late night accidentally waking up Sango, though neither seemed to notice._

"_Keh, only _humans_ star at the sky with that dumb look you had there."_

"_Oh I guess having a thoughtful expression on your face is only dumb to you." She bit back._

"_What the hell is that s'pose ta mean? An' what would ya need to be thinking when staring at the stupid sky!"_

_Kagome stared at him for a few seconds, blinked two times before she burst into a fit of giggles confusing poor Inuyasha, "I'm sorry," she said between giggles. "It's just that oh never mind. Anyways thinking and looking at the sky, it's like it gives me peace you know. Its comforting…It's…It's…I don't know how to explain it. Just at the sky for a moment and you'll understand." Kagome murmured softly before going back to looking at the sky._

_After a few moments of silence came a loud, "keh!"_

_More silence._

_She fell asleep thinking about what Kagome had said, the next night just before she drifted off to sleep, she looked up at the sky and smiled. Just before she had faded into her dreams she noticed Inuyasha and Kagome sitting together a little further ways on a hillside staring at the sky._

She supposed this is what she meant when you look at the stars.

It was a peaceful night despite what had happened earlier.

She wondered where Sesshomaru had gone off to; she knew he hadn't left permanently since he had left behind his pack here, demon or not he had honor and wouldn't leave behind his pack. She heard a soft moan and moved quickly yet carefully enough as to not open her wounds.

A groan.

She was concerned for the houshi, he had gotten quite injured during the unexpected attack, it seemed that Naraku hadn't completely forgotten about them. She glanced back and noticed that Rin hadn't woken yet. Jaken had fallen asleep on the two-headed dragon taking care of the young woman.

That kappa may put on the act that he does not care for Rin, but he does. Maybe he cared because she was his lord's ward, or maybe it was just because its Rin.

Kami-sama, Sango stared up to the stars hoping the gods would hear out her prayer. She prayed that they'd make through the night without anyone dying. Her hopeful look to the stars turned into a glare.

A loud smack resounded though the forest.

"My dear Sango, what did this humble monk do to deserve this attack on his person."

She through unshed tears, "You hentai" she had been so worried.

"It's my hand," he said with a 'I'm-nothing-but-a-simple-monk' look, "It's cursed to desire the firm curva—"

"Monk!"

In a second that innocent look hardened, "What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

Miroku raised himself to a sitting position, "Not much" he admitted.

"Naraku."

* * *

**A/N: After much thinking and arguing with the imaginary therapist in my head, Flo, me and her have decided...I need a beta.**

**Soooooo...any takers, btw I won't be updating anytime soon. Stupid senoir project! Toodles. ^.^'**


	10. Despair

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha**

**A/N:** I'm sorry, I meant to update yesterday but some weird things came up. _ .

* * *

It came as no surprise to the monk that that demon would never truly forget them, perhaps he was just taking a break for them or just wanted to mess with their minds. Either way they would eventually find out, all they knew was this new incarnation worked psychologically, he didn't attack with brute force no, he had just stood there looking at them with his gaunt like face looking like death himself. He was dressed in all white with a serine look to him almost like he had reached enlightenment; his eyes were a soft chocolate light brown, his skin almost translucent if Miroku had looked closely enough he would have been able to see the veins trailing about like a spider web. The tips of his toes barely peeking out of his odd robe-like dress; he knew the incarnation was male but the man had feminine quality to him that drew him in.

Miroku didn't know what made him let Sango think that he didn't remember he just did, he wasn't the type of man who would lie straight to the woman he loved straight in the face but maybe she had caught something he hadn't. Sometimes the only way to find out what you wanted you need to remain quiet and listen. Silence is golden. Hmmm…made this is where Kagome's strange ways of wording things came about.

"…it was strange, he had just stood there, he said he was called Zainin no Zetsubō (Sinner's Despair). He looked at each and every one of us, when his eyes landed on me it seemed like he was looking right through me I felt so exposed, so naked under his eyes. He just introduced himself, it seemed like he had this sort of effect on every one."

"That is quite strange." Yes, it was strange. He hadn't felt that way at all, he felt empty, cold, and giddy to him everyone else seemed to have felt that exact same thing. Maybe every one saw and thought the same exact they were feeling. They would have to be wary of this new incarnate.

"But then the feeling disappeared abruptly…I didn't even realize that we were caught in an illusion until then," illusion, that could have been it. "Kai…he was on his knees clutching his head so desperately. At first I thought he was still caught in his own illusion but then he attacked the incarnate screaming obscenities that I could not catch. Then Zainin just laughed at him, do remember what he said?" She looked at him_ maybe he remembers now_.

"Yes," he rubbed his lower jaw like he always did when he was in deep thought, "He said, 'I am your agony…it won't ever end. Don't you want to join that insane…' that's all I was able to catch."

The fire cracked causing some of the wood in the fire to break. Miroku stared intensely at the fire thinking that somehow it would answer an un-thought question in his mind.

Soft moan, both he and Sango looked in the direction the sound had come from. Rin was coming around.

"What happened to Ka—Souta?"

"I don't know he just helped me move us here and left. He didn't appear to be injured but had been clutching the part of his right eye like he was in pain when he left. He said he'd return when Sesshomaru-sama would return who knows when that'll be."

* * *

Rin awoke with a start, she still felt like she was falling which would probably explain why Sango and Miroku were looking at strangely since she was flaying her limbs around trying to hold onto a nonexistent cliff. She blushed at the looks she was being given. AhUn just raised their heads and stared at her before settling right back down again once assured that she was okay, Jaken currently had a snot bubble and was snoring loudly.

"Gomen ne," Rin whispered as she scratched the back of her head sheepishly.

"It's okay." Sango said softly not wanting to awake the sleeping annoying kappa.

"Rin, do you remember anything?"

Rin furrowed her brows she to recall anything that happened but all she remembered Inuyasha had slammed Kai against a tree, she remembered the events but not the words, it was like someone had muted what everyone had said, they were all angry about something. She could practically taste the hostility in the air.

She remembered him mentioning something about Kagome, she didn't know why she had said it she just did, "_Kagome was a nice person, she never did anything—"_

That look that could easily be mistaken for bitterness that crossed his face, _Nice person_; he had definitely been bitter but had also been so riddled with anguish. Rin knew that every time he thought about Kagome he always had that look about not his face—no, not his face, it was that single uncovered eye that revealed every thing. She sometimes wanted to reach out and uncover what was hidden; she wanted to know why his face held such an injury. If Kagome's time is supposed to be safe then why did Kai look filled with so much despair, she didn't understand. Perhaps she will never understand.

It will never be okay from him will it?

"Rin?"

She looked at the monk for a moment confused when she remembered his question, "No, I blacked out. Did something happen?" They didn't seem hurt at all, they just seemed extremely exhausted.

"No."

"Where's Sesshomaru-sama and Kai?"

She saw the confusion that crossed their faces but chose to ignore it for now, "We don't know."

"Oh…it's a warm night." She commented. She wished Kai here or Master Jaken was awake she didn't like silence for too much. Silence made her think too much, it made her dwell too much on the important things that should be ignored. Silence made her want to cry. Silence reminded her of being alone. When she spoke with Kai, it was more of a one-sided conversation which reminded her much of the conversations she has with Sesshomaru-sama and with Master Jaken the constant bickering soothed her mind. Rin likes to think it sooths her Lords' mind as well, to her he appears to be much less tense after he stops their bickering but that was just her.

She stood up and walked over to AhUn and carefully extracted the gift Kai had given her. She slowly twisted to key in the bottom like Kai had done and listened to the song. Her mind slowly drifted off thinking of all that Kagome had taught her. She had always been strange, but Kagome seemed to enjoy her strangeness. She remembered the year she had left she had said that she was breath of fresh air. When she had asked what she meant she just laughed while ruffling her hair. _Because you don't pretend to be something your not, silly, much like my little brother. _She had scowled when she said this and had muttered,_ too bad he's an annoying little pest, but that's just him. I still love him_. The blue eyes had darkened a little, pain riddled in those eyes, but it had lasted only for a second._ I don't think he will ever know that, _that last was not meant to be heard by her but she still had.

She often wondered why she had said that about her little brother. Wouldn't he already know?

Why did Kagome always seem so sad, why did Kai always seem so sad? Why did everyone seem to not like him? Why? Why? WHY? It frustrated her.

"Rin."

She looked up, there was her lord looking down at with something akin to curiosity (?), she looked at him expectantly listening for whatever he was going to say or order, "Calm yourself."

She was crying; she didn't even feel the tears sliding down her cheeks. She felt numb, but dutifully wiped away her tears. She felt stupid now. Huh, it's funny how emotions changed so quickly for her. She felt silly now, she smiled.

A slight shuffling sound, looked around and saw the distrustful eyes of Sango, her smile went away. Miroku had a slight thoughtful expression.

Kai wasn't looking at her, but she didn't even to look him in the eye to know what he was feeling. It wasn't fair.

That's when a thought occurred, "Where's Inuyasha-sama?"

"…"

No one answered at first, "he's with the undead miko committing necrophilia."

Rin gave Kai a baffled look, "What's ne-cro-phil-ia?" She sounded out the word, trying out the odd word.

Kai didn't answer, he just stared at her with a mirrored expression and said, "I don't know, Kagome used to say it all the time though."

* * *

**A/N:** I didn't want to end this with too much tension, so I added this small bit of humorless light heartness (is that the word or is it hardness I think its the former?)


	11. Conspiring

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, I just like the series. **

* * *

He wanted to laugh, oh things hadn't gone according to plan but he had gotten so much more than he anticipated. He had only been curious of the new comer, "Kanna you did me well in showing me this new stranger." All he had wanted was instill the new comer of what he was capable of. Kai, Kai, Kai, what a liar you are.

"Naraku-sama will be most pleased," a soft voice whispered. He will not be with his disobedience he had grown bored. All he had wanted to do was play and play he did. He slowly walked with a slight bounce into the current residing place of his lord's lair. He started to hum a soft tune he had heard in mind of that kitsune apparently his long since dead father sung it him before he laid to sleep.

"Zainin," he stopped mid-walk to look he had stopped him, ah Kagura the traitor wind witch oh yes he knew, he knew all. He loved feeding off her; she always was feeling so helpless, so full of that feeling of never being able to get away without dying. "Naraku wants you now."

He smirked, "Of course sister dear." That was where he was heading anyways.

"Don't call me sister," he heard her bit out. She was scared of him, he liked it that way. She wouldn't underestimate either if she feared him; he was much like his father in every aspect.

He continued walking with every step his grew smaller until all that was left was an apathetic expression. He stopped in front of the open door way looking at what appeared to be his father's sleeping form. "You are displeased with me." He stated.

No Answer.

"I bring good news though; it will be to your advantage. There is a new com—

"I have known of this new comer for quite some time," he heard his reply softly from where he was laying. He didn't know why his father was pretending to sleep he couldn't sleep—at least from what he has seen.

"I was expected nothing more of you, Kanna does report to you on all the new changes but that is not the news that I bring you," a small barely there smile spread across face that soon turned into a shit eating grin. "That boy Kai his much more closely related to miko than you would think. I have a story to tell that you would be most pleased with, it will come to your advantage soon enough. You will have power over not Kai but the cohorts he is currently traveling with, it seems he is just as dead as his dear sister."

Zainin no Zetsubō stared at his creator who he called father waiting for those eyes to open. Zainin was like no other incarnation, he didn't aim for the kill oh no liked to play with them until they broke from their anguish and despair that they would begging for death and then he would make turn them into his own personal puppets and dollies (once they were puppets there was no turning back), he already had one made thanks to his father. A pretty little doll called Kohaku; he belongs to Kanna now though, she doesn't appreciate his gift enough though but that doesn't matter. She doesn't have to play with the doll so long as she kept it.

He quickly explained what he had in mind to his father; he knew for certain that his father would agree with him.

"Make sure this goes as plan Zainin, I will be very disappointed if you fail me." Red eyes stared him down, he smiled gently, there would be no betrayal from him, Naraku was his creator. Why would he dishonor him in such a way? Naraku was one to be admired. He gave part himself, for Zainin's creation.

"Yes…all I ask, is for you to bestow give me three items: a shard of the shikon jewel, the heart of a water nymph, and the soul of the dead one, in the mean while I shall gather the other necessities that only I can pass through."

"You are very demanding dear Zainin."

"Anything to please you; I live only for Naraku-sama."

He smirked as he left his father's chambers, only for him. His creator. Yes, he will not fail his father. He was his tool to use; he would even go so far as to say that if his father were to ask him to kill himself he would it.

_I live only for you father, I will die for you, and I will not fail you like the wind bitch._

* * *

**A/N:** I don't know if i kept Naraku as in character as possible, and sorry for the long wait T.T I'm sorry to say this but TDOMS is approaching its end...


	12. Animosity

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha.

* * *

"Nekro…phirr…ya"

Rin had long since fallen asleep near the campfire curled into a lax ball. Her eyes were shuttering under her lids as she drifted off into REM sleep. His one visible eye drifted the monk who was still looking at him imploringly; the slayer was still silently fuming.

"You don't seem like the type to use words that you have no knowledge of the meaning." The monk looked at him inquisitively. "Tell me, what does the word mean? When your sister," he his jaw clenched when the monk said this," used the word. I understand she used it a in a different context rather than how you used."

He hated, he always did when they tried to directly relate him to his sister—the girl who killed off his whole family. He also hated these people who thought they knew so much more about his sister then he did. How would they know? They didn't live with her; they didn't see the pain she caused for his mother. They didn't see the love-hate relationship going on between her and himself—it was more hate in her part.

Without thinking he pulled the dark leather bound book that was within his duffle bag, Kagome's diary. His face tightened, the hand holding the book clenched. _Kagome__…__you __are __such __a __lying __deceiving __manipulative __bitch__. __Why__? __Were __you __more __insane __then __I __thought __you __were__? __You __leave __me __in __riddles __even __I __cannot __decipher__. __This __was __your __will__…__I __follow __it __like __the __Bible __at __times __because __you __want __me __to__. __Am __I __only __your __puppet__, __even __in __death__?_

Ghostly blue eyes laughed at his expense.

"Don't relate that psychotic whore to me!" he snapped before he could reign control of his inner turmoil.

"Don't call Ka—"

"I'll call her whatever the damn hell I please," his cobalt blue eye tightened further as he stood and glared the aggressive woman. He didn't want to here _that_ name anymore. It's enough that she haunts him day and night with the constant reminders of that fucking woman-child Rin!

"Sango-sama, calm yourself," Miroku tugged on the arm of the slayer that stood in an offensive stance.

"Shut up monk! I have heard enough with his insults toward Kagome's name. I don't care anymore if he _supposedly_ shares her blood; I'm going to kill him!"

"Silence!"

Both Miroku and Sango turned to the normally neutral (for the time being) and quiet TaiYoukai. The Lord of the Western Lands looked irritate.

"You will awake those who ought not to hear your pitiful ningen discrepancies."

No one said anything for awhile until they heard a soft shuffle of a body and a yawn.

Rin stretched almost cat-like if her intentions were so.

"Insults," Kai echoed.

Rin looked at the angry Sango to the perverted Miroku and finally landed at the now calming Kai. She could practically feel the hostility in the air and it was still night time.

"I do believe this the first time in my time being here I have insulted her directly and to warn you ahead I will continue to do so as I have some explanations to give to Sir Monk."

_Smartass_, Sango thought angrily.

"As to your question, yes monk there is a difference," he started, "You see, the way my _dearest __friend_ used it was out of ignorant stupidity. Maybe had she stayed in school—a learning facility if you do not know," he said in a patronizing tone, "she would have known what the meaning was and how to put it into context. After all she did want to be at one point a psychologist. Or maybe if she had used that micro-sized organ she called a brain she might have thought to use a dictionary and would have known the meaning."

"Then correct me if I'm wrong," the monk leaned forward from the tree he had been resting against, "Nekrophirrya has to do with the," he gave a quick glance to a now curious and innocent minded Rin to the imposing InuYoukai daring him to poison Rin's mind. "…the _relationships_ between the dead and the living."

"Not quite, that is the general assumption though…"

Kai looked up thoughtfully at the star twinkling above him, a faraway came across on his usual less than expression filled face. _I __can __see __why __she __liked __it __here__…__too __bad __this __safe __haven __was __her __own __personal __hell_, he thought just as the hanyou decided to grace them with his presence.

"What? This wasn't hell to her!"

Had he said that out loud, judging by everyone's shocked or bewildered faces he had. "Really, you won't be thinking so when I am done, sit down hanyou and company," he gestured to the hidden being, a priestess with a cold appearance and deathly pale skin walked in, "Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha! So you decided to join our merry little group oh holy one," he said dryly and began to clap his hands, "this is just precious. Be wary oh dead one the shadows search for you to take you back!"

"Are you threatening Kikyou?" Inuyasha growled.

He blinked at the hanyou, "As I was saying," he didn't know why he was talking so much today. What was different about today? Ah yes, the anniversary approaches and with it dark clouds over the horizon. "Necrophilia is an obsession of dead beings or dead thins. A human can go so far as to…decorate his whole abode with nasty little trinkets of the human anatomy and even make clothing of the leftovers. I had the pleasure of meeting a man that wore a young girls'," he tapped the side of his temple; no need to disgust them even more by saying it aloud and Rin was awake now.

"That's…"

"Disgusting? I assure that what they all said but him. Quite the poetic man he was, said it aroused him, very soft spoken. Funny that the most intellectual of us is most insane don't you think, Sesshomaru-sama?"

Golden eyes cracked open from his feigned sleep before shutting them close once more, obviously not wanting to be part of the conversation.

"There are three different types of Necrophiliacs: Necrophilic Homicide, Regular Necrophilia, and Necrophilic Fantasy. Regular Necrophilia is what she was referring to; the other two are for another time…However, Kikyou here is not a corpse or a 'zombie'. If I am correct she is made of soil, clay, and her own ashes, correct…Kikyou?" he added when he saw the hanyou open his mouth.

"Hai."

"Apart from that _Kagome__'__s_ large soul and souls of young innocent women are woven together by magic to keep her animated. Suffice to say Kikyou here is a living possessed doll, much like the folklore I heard from the poetic necrophiliac. So in reality the hanyou just has a fetish for a possessed doll….As for this being hell for her. This", he waved a black leather bound journal, "details the ideals, the goals, the emotions…everything that made her what she was."

Four pairs of eyes followed the black journal; another pair just looked worriedly at him. "I will not be reading it. Why should I?"

"Because we want to know…"Kagome's pleading blue eyes looked at him. Face fresh and beautiful, exactly as it was five years ago; a bloodied hand reached out to touch the hand that held the journal tightly. "…Kai?" He blinked, not Kagome, it was Rin looking at him, lightly touching his arm.

It was daylight, not night time. "It's time to get up now," her face was slightly flushed from the heat the sun was already baring down on them. When did he fall asleep?

He blinked once, twice before he stood up from his sitting position. His head pounded as felt blood rush down to his numbed legs. Concerned blue eyes looked down at him as a maggot infested hand touched his forehead. He could feel them squirming on his head, "_Souta __you __have __a __cold __lay __back __down_." His sister's voice echoed. A feminine demeaning laughter. "_Do __you __wanna __play __a __game__?_" Go away, "_let__'__s __play __D__.__U__.__Die__._" D.—never played that game before. "DIE!"

Kai grabbed the wrist on his forehead squeezing, the metacarpals under his hand protested against his rough handling. "Itai! Kai you're hurting me."

Kai glared at her, Rin—not Kagome, "DON'T touch me onna, understood.." He gave one final good squeeze before he let her go.

She whimpered then gave a small nod. Kai almost did not see the hurt look on Rin's face, almost did not see the tell-tell signs of a crushed look. He almost did not see it but he did. Shame and regret should have been his first reactions in seeing her reaction to his nearly brutal handling of her person.

Instead it was contempt and disdain.

* * *

**A/N**: Please do tell if I got the necrophilia part down right...I sorta made it into a halfass explanation-don't get mad. Next time Shippou finally drops his balls...anyways goodnight or goodmorning dedpending where ya guys live. Buh-bye.


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